I’m back!?!? ....Did you miss me? ....It’s been a while since I last got chance to put pen to paper, or tap buttons on a screen, you know what I mean. I’ve been incredibly busy and I just sort of lost myself a bit really. If you follow me on Instagram then you’ll have had snippet updates but in case you’ve missed them or aren’t on there here's a quick update....
So that’s that we are all caught up.
I’m pretty sure I’m not the only parent to be craving 5 minutes peace through the holidays. Don’t get me wrong I do truly feel blessed that I get to spend time with my kids through the summer but that doesn’t mean I’m loving every second of it. I’m exhausted, absolutely exhausted! They’ve won! I surrender. The house constantly looks like there’s been a drugs raid, however many snacks I buy it is never enough, I am sick of the sound of my own voice and we have new household record for the time it took someone to find their socks. 25 minutes, 25 long arse minutes. So long in fact that we ended up missing the activity that she actually needed the socks for.
I know there’s three of them but you would think surely they could be occupied by an activity, a game, a film, a toy for 5 minutes to give me chance to hear inside my own head. Apparently not. That is however if I’m in sight. I have discovered if they can’t see me they don’t ‘need’ me (quite as much) Obviously I can’t just go out and leave them....ooooohhhh the temptation... but I can’t, I won’t, I promise. So I have taken to hiding. The trouble I have here is that I can’t trust them, not at all. I thought the middle one was a handful but this baby is something else! And actually because of Freddie's epilepsy he shouldn’t be left unsupervised so I have to hide where I can see them but they can’t see me. So I have discovered that I can enjoy five minutes peace just as long as I’m under the table, in the shed or behind the bathroom cupboard door. Not quite the summer I was hoping for. I’m sure I was meant to be sitting outside in the sunshine with a nice cool drink whilst the kids played beautifully together.......and you’re back in the room! We are however very lucky that I can see the back garden out of the kitchen window so I am able to release them into the wild whilst I wash up, clear up the kitchen, put the washing on and all those fun things which have actually started to feel like a little mini holiday when I get to do them alone.
There is one tiny thing about having 5 minutes peace though that is a lot less relaxing than it used to be since the most recent diagnosis. His epilepsy is still uncontrolled and although I know I can’t watch him every second of every day if he does go into a convulsive seizure we obviously need to make sure he is safe and then have to time 5 minutes from the start of it before administering his emergency medication so when I am caring for him that literally gives me 5 minute slots to do things in. The baby comes bloody everywhere with me, on my hip is her absolute favourite place. How she’s learnt to walk is beyond me as she spends a good 95% of her awake time stuck to me so I needn't worry about her whereabouts. But Freddie is now at an age where SOMETIMES he is happy to amuse himself, or watch a film and if he’s not interrupting me I am the one interrupting him. At least once every 5 minutes. I try not to do anything that doesn't involve the kids when they are awake and my responsibility not because I think should devote all my time to them but just because its too bloody stressful not to. But sometimes needs must and I need 5 minutes to get something done or take a quick shower. That means him sitting on the landing and me sticking my head out from under the running water every few minutes shouting ‘Are you ok?’ whilst constantly worrying if he is ok. I can’t tell you how many times I have shot out of that shower butt naked, flooding the floor, shampoo blinding me after not getting a response to find him totally engrossed in a film on iPad and absolutely fine whilst I have nearly given myself a heart attack and hope desperately that a double decker bus wasn’t going past the upstairs windows whilst this was occurring. So I’m sort of stuck in a limbo of desperately wanting a quiet 5 minutes and fearing it at the same time. I know some of you reading this can relate and for those of you don’t need to fear your 5 minutes, enjoy! Eat chocolate, play on your phone, stare into space, be mindful, whatever it is make the most of it. And in case you are wondering behind doors as they open into a room is also a cracking place to hide, you might even get more than 5 minutes there if you’re lucky. Or play dead. It turns out my kids wouldn’t care if I was actually dead, if I’m still enough for long enough they get bored and leave me alone. A bit like Bears I think. Whilst I’m dishing out the wisdom in case it makes this last week of the summer holiday any easier for any of you here’s another top tip... whatever I’m eating has nuts in. My kids aren’t allowed nuts as My Little Holland had an adverse reaction so we are on nuts lockdown, no nuts allowed and this kids know that they aren’t allowed them as they make Freddie poorly so what ever treat I cram in mouth and get caught eating as far as they are concerned is ‘nuts’ No further questions!
